


How Do I Live?

by BerenaRoseWolfe



Category: Holby City
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:07:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29289567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BerenaRoseWolfe/pseuds/BerenaRoseWolfe
Summary: A gas explosion occurs at the army base, and Bernie is presumed M.I.A (Missing In Action).
Relationships: Danielle Wolfe & Bernie Wolfe, Danielle Wolfe & Jac Naylor, Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	1. The Mistake

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Phiby007](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phiby007/gifts), [MarisaBelacqua](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarisaBelacqua/gifts), [LaEchelon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaEchelon/gifts), [Walker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Walker/gifts).



> There are three alternate endings to this story, which will be shown. As always there will only a main alternate ending.
> 
> The story was also inspired by the song 'How Do I Live' by LeAnn Rimes, who was just thirteen years old upon the release of the song in 1990s. Also, this will be my 80th Story which I have written and I still can't get over how much I actually love creating stories.

***Bernie's Pain***

It had been a while since Bernie and Serena said goodbye to each other, the blonde was laid on her bed in her barracks - staring at the ceiling intensely as Bernie's Hazel brown eyes began to sting and water. However, her attention was drawn to the radio when it announced that the next song was called 'How Do I Live?' by LeAnn Rimes;

_How do I,_  
_Get through one night without you?_  
_If I had to live without you,_  
_What kind of life would that be?_

_Oh, I...  
I need you in my arms, need you to hold,  
You're my world, my heart, my soul,  
If you ever leave,  
Baby you would take away everything good in my life,  
And tell me now  
How do I live without you?  
I want to know,  
How do I breathe without you?  
If you ever go,  
How do I ever, ever survive?  
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?  
Without you,_

Tears began to prickle the blonde's Hazel brown eyes, as she has flashbacks of her and Serena together - they were happy and nothing else mattered to them.

_There'd be no sun in my sky,  
There would be no love in my life,  
There'd be no world left for me.  
And I,  
Baby I don't know what I would do,  
I'd be lost if I lost you,  
If you ever leave,  
Baby you would take away everything real in my life,  
And tell me now,  
How do I live without you?  
I want to know,  
How do I breathe without you?  
If you ever go,  
How do I ever, ever survive?  
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?  
Please tell me baby,  
How do I go on?  
If you ever leave,  
Baby you would take away everything,  
I need you with me,  
Baby don't you know that you're everything,  
Good in my life?_

Bernie is full on crying as she realises that she made the biggest ever - by letting Serena go. And tell me now.

  
_How do I live without you,_  
_I want to know,_  
_How do I breathe without you?_  
_If you ever go,_  
_How do I ever, ever survive?_  
_How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?_  
_How do I live without you?_  
_How do I live without you baby?_

Even now, Bernie knew she loved Serena more than ever. The blonde realised that she didn't love Alex - not the same way she loves Serena and she decided to return home to London and be with Serena. But first, Bernie decided to end her abusive relationship with Alex - since Bernie returned to the army, Alex had got her claws back into the blonde and had forced her into a relationship with her. The trauma surgeon felt helpless as Alex had threatened to report Bernie to the army in which this act would end Bernie's military career. As she sat on the bed with her legs crossed, she breathed a sigh of hurt as she pondered whether or not if Serena would take her back for good.

***Flashback of Bernie & Serena***

_"I love you Serena, and nothing is gonna change that I swear."_

_"I love you too Bernie, I won't keep you from your love of adventure."_

_"No matter how far away I am Serena, you will always be here in my heart."_

The words echoing in Bernie's mind as she clutched her chest in pain - her heart aching for Serena - the blonde burst into tears again. Laying down (on the bed) while curling up into the foetal position, the trauma surgeon cried herself to sleep. Eventually she begins to dream of being reunited with Serena and they share a hug while the blonde cries in the brunette's arms.

The following morning, Bernie woke up and had a shower - after getting dressed into her army uniform, she began to write up her retirement letter (in case Alex goes to them and tells them about her and Bernie). The blonde knew that she had to get ahead of Alex, so after the letter - she walked to the CEO's office and knocked on the door. After being allowed entry, she hands the retirement letter and explains her decision to leave the army. Though he tries to convince her to stay, the blonde is adamant to retire from the army - even informing him that Captain Dawson had threatened her with getting Bernie's military ended if the blonde did not return to her in a relationship. The CEO is livid about the threatening of ending the trauma surgeon's military career - of course he realises that he would have to end Captain Dawson's military due to breaking rules and threatening another colleague.

Upon leaving the office, Bernie thought to herself as she knew that Alex had changed - for example, Alex hated it whenever another female would pay attention to the blonde and she would become violent with Bernie, because of it. The blonde knew how to hide bruises on her body, the moment she got back to her barracks, Bernie grabbed her phone and took her t-shirt off. Bernie took pictures of the bruises - which she received from Alex's assaults and then put her t-shirt back on as she sent the pictures (via email) to the CEO - just after sending the email, the blonde deleted the pictures from her phone and then changed her screen pin.

Following the evidence, the blonde filled in a report and left the office as she called to treat army privates back from a war. Upon arriving, she sees Alex who is furious with her - before she has to chance to deal with the injured privates, Alex pins her against the wall but the blonde fights back and pushes Alex away. After the altercation, Bernie goes to the privates and tends to them, even stitching them up. Bernie sends them off to the hospital to recover and sits alone in the area as she washes her hands - just then Bernie hears hissing sounds and she goes to investigate only before she has a chance to react - a huge gas explosion engulfs the entire area and the blonde is thrown off of her feet as equipment is destroyed by the explosion.

The trauma surgeon hits the wall and dislocates her right shoulder, also she lands awkwardly on her spine and takes a lot of pressure to her heart. Only she sustains an unknown injury as her left lung presses against her rib cage but the lung hasn't penetrated yet - a few minutes after the gas explosion, the blonde comes round and takes her body armour off and groans in pain as her right shoulder writhes in pain. Taking slow breaths, Bernie gets up and walks to the main gate however, no one notices that she is alive as everyone is too focused on the engulfing fire as it rages through army base. The blonde notices that her nose is bleeding and her lip is busted - after climbing over the main gate (even with a dislocated shoulder), Bernie climbs down and runs into the distance. While running through the fields, Bernie's back gives way - sending her flying through the grass and she cries in pain as she realises that she had landed awkwardly on her back.

Bernie lives off of the land as she stays in hiding, the blonde decides to try and walk as she has rested her back - upon reaching the end of the field, Bernie collapses and loses consciousness. Meanwhile, the army has found her body armour and presume her as M.I.A (Missing In Action).


	2. Danielle Finds Bernie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During a horse ride, Danielle comes across an unconscious Bernie. She takes Bernie home and looks after her.

During a horse ride, Danielle was admiring the scenery when up ahead she notice something blonde in the grass and she kicked her horse (who was named Zodiac) and he responding by running to the part of the grass. Once there, Danielle slows him down by saying; _"Whoa boy."_ After swinging her left leg over to the right, she jumps down and pats Zodiac - then she walks over and sees it is a blonde woman who has been injured. Slowly she checks her over and the woman comes round _"Serena?!!"_ Bernie says as she delirious and Danielle smiles a little before responding; _"I'm Danielle, I'm gonna help you. You will be ok I promise."_ The injured blonde groans in pain as Danielle swings Bernie's left arm around her neck and she picks up Bernie to carry her.

Danielle whistles to Zodiac to sit down and he does so, Danielle swings her left leg over his back and steadies herself and Bernie before whistling him to stand up - once back on all of his legs, Danielle clicks her tongue and Zodiac begins to walk as they head home with Bernie. After arriving home, Zodiac sits back down and Danielle off of him, she takes Bernie into the basement (which Danielle has turned into a secret living space - it has a living room, a bedroom, a kitchen and a bathroom). Danielle lays Bernie on the bed and lets Zodiac have a run around in the back garden, as he always goes back to his hut when he is tired. As Zodiac had a run outside, Danielle quickly some lukewarm water as she needed to clean Bernie's wounds before bandaging them, she got some old cloths and returned to the bedroom. Before taking Bernie's t-shirt off, Danielle checked her right shoulder and realised that the injured blonde had dislocated her shoulder - looking for something hard so Bernie can bite down on it, Danielle finds a cloth and she folds it in four quarters and quickly returns to the bedroom.

She helps Bernie to sit up, _"Bite down on this!"_ Handing Bernie the cloth, the injured blonde puts the cloth in her mouth and grips hard on on the mattress - Danielle straightens Bernie's arm out and then on the count of three pushes her shoulder back into place as Bernie screams in pain. After releasing the cloth from her mouth, Bernie watches as Danielle takes her t-shirt off and cleans up her wounds before she makes a make-shift sling to put on Bernie's arm and shoulder so it can heal. _"Where did you learn that technique of fixing a shoulder that way?"_ Bernie asks as she watches Danielle clean the cloth. _"My father taught me that technique. His friend had dislocated his shoulder and my father did the same technique, then he taught me how to do and it was scary especially hearing the shoulder click back into place, but I got used to it (well not completely) but if someone has a dislocated shoulder then I know what to do."_ Danielle responded as Bernie nodded, she was still in pain.

_"I have some morphine if you need it."_

_"Please? Who are you?"_

_"My name is Danielle, and you?"_

_"Bernie Wolfe, do you have a last name?"_

For a moment, Danielle thought she was hearing things and she looked at Bernie - her mind was racing and confusion hit her face. Eventually, Danielle stuttered as she came back into reality; _Su....su....su...sure I'll go and get you some now."_ After bandaging up Bernie's leg wound, she left the bedroom and went to get the morphine - meanwhile, Bernie was confused herself as she knew something had got Danielle confused. When Danielle returns, she injects Bernie with some morphine and puts Bernie's arm in a sling; _"Did I say something to upset you?"_ Bernie asked as the morphine started to kick in, _"No, erm...a long time ago I had a little girl and she was so gorgeous. The perfect little helper."_

_"Had! Did she die?"_

_"No she didn't die, she was taken from me by social services and they had her privately adopted. I took them to caught and I found out that apparently I was sexually assaulted and that's how I got my daughter."_

_"Was you raped?"_

_"No I wasn't. Well I don't actually remember much, I was at a party and this boy took a liking to me but I told him that I was not interested in boys. He kept bugging until I had enough and the last thing I remember was waking up in my own bed at my parents home. I don't know what had happened to me, but if I was raped I don't remember it at all. Though even after all this time, I still have nightmares about my little girl just screaming for me and the social services holding me back, then she was gone and I never saw her again. If I tried to look for her, I wouldn't even know where to begin because she was privately adopted."_

Bernie held her hand tightly, _"Maybe one day Danielle, she will return to you and you both can be happy again."_

_"Yeah Bernie. Now get some rest ok, I will be sleeping in the room and I will leave this door open to ok?"_

_"Can you stay with me just until I fall asleep please?"_

_"Sure I will."_

Danielle laid on the bed and let Bernie snuggled into her for comfort, once the injured had fell asleep fully - Danielle left the bedroom and closed the door to, she went and got changed into some nightwear. Danielle settled down on the sofa, however, about thirty minutes into settling down - Danielle heard what she recognised as wheezing sounds and she got up and ran straight into Bernie's bedroom and found her wheezing. Laying her down, Danielle uses a pressure point to numb Bernie's chest as she grabs a knife and she cuts into Bernie's side - slipping her hand inside Bernie's body she searched for the problem and quickly found it. _"Your left lung is pressing against your rib cage but your lung hasn't penetrated though. Hold still Bernie."_ Danielle said as Bernie nodded, just then Danielle moved Bernie's lung back into place and removed her hand. She stitches up Bernie's wound and then wraps a bandage around Bernie's tummy.

 _"Anything else that needs checking while I'm here Bernie?"_ Danielle asks as Bernie holds her hand, _"Can you check on my spine and my heart please? I landed wrong on my back and I have taken pressure to my chest too."_ Bernie says sounding really concerned for herself, but something tells her that she can trust Danielle.

Danielle smiled as she got up and she let Bernie lean on her as she checked on her back. Ever so gently, Danielle moved her lukewarm hands over Bernie's back and when she felt the base of Bernie's back - Bernie squealed in pain as it hurt so Danielle stopped and she knew what was wrong. _"Erm, this is gonna hurt Bernie and I am sorry. Your coccyx has come loose."_ The blonde nodded as she gripped the mattress again, then Danielle uses four of her fingers (the first two fingers on each hand) - placing her fingers at each side of Bernie's back, the older blonde then used a very rare pressure point to put Bernie's coccyx back into place as Bernie screamed in pain.

 _"That hurt Danielle."_ Bernie said in tears, as Danielle gave her a cuddle. _"I know I'm sorry Bernie."_ Danielle responded as Bernie cried in her arms, after Bernie calmed down and Danielle checked on her heart, _"Your heart has been bruised so it will take a while to heal ok?"_ Danielle replied as Bernie rested her head on Danielle's shoulder. _"Are you a doctor?"_ Replied Bernie.

_"Yes. I am a consultant cardiology surgeon, and you?"_

_"Trauma surgeon with the army, but I retired from the army today. I'm going home to London, but I'm running from my abusive ex-girlfriend."_

_"You can stay here as long as you need ok, I don't mind helping you to recover. Not to pry or anything, but who is Serena?"_

_"She's my ex-girlfriend, not the abusive one. Serena hasn't got one evil bone in her body, but Alex Dawson now she does have a mean streak - Alex is one who I am running from, I don't love her Danielle, and I want to be with Serena. Serena is my soulmate and I just want her to hold me in her arms, I made the mistake of leaving and_ ***cries*** _."_

Danielle pulls you gently into my arms and comforts you, _"I will help you get back to Serena. Why don't I go and make you a hot chocolate?"_

 _"Yes please."_ Responded Bernie as she wiped her eyes and Danielle went to make a hot chocolate to help her sleep, a few minutes later Danielle comes back with the hot chocolate and Bernie smiles as she holds the cup and takes a sip. Bernie pauses for a moment (as the hot chocolate is just the way she likes it), she looks at Danielle; _"This is exactly how I like my hot chocolate, how did you know?"_ She asks as Danielle smiles tapping her nose - making Bernie giggle.

When the hot chocolate was gone, Bernie settled back down for some sleep and Danielle kisses her forehead; _"Sleep tight ok."_ She says softly as Bernie nods at her. After a while, Bernie is fast asleep and Danielle smiled as she left the door too - climbing back onto the sofa and settling back down herself. She fell asleep on the sofa. The following morning, Danielle is jolted awake by a loud bang and she goes straight to Bernie - who is on the floor, she looks up at Danielle; _"I'm sorry Danielle, I need to pee."_ Smiling softly, Danielle walks over to help her and she puts Bernie's arm around her neck.

Danielle walks to the bathroom, as Bernie steadies herself with her balance - upon reaching the toilet, Bernie lets Danielle take her pyjamas and knickers down. Then Bernie leans on Danielle as she sits down on the toilet and does her business. Afterwards, Danielle washes Bernie's hand and then takes her to the living room as Bernie doesn't want to be alone - all the while, Danielle is being the perfect host which Bernie can not fault at all. They have breakfast together and Bernie can't stop smiling to herself, after helping Bernie to get dressed, Danielle takes her outside to see Danielle's horse Zodiac. Bernie smiles as she watches Danielle play with Zodiac as she chases him and he does the same thing, after their game - Danielle gives him a cuddle and pats him. Then she leaves the pen and lets him have a run around. However, they go inside and Danielle does them some tea, later they watch a film together and Bernie thinks about Serena - eventually Bernie succumbs to tiredness and Danielle carries her into the bedroom and places her in bed, she wraps Bernie up warm and leaves her to sleep.

Danielle falls asleep, after turning the telly off and settles down for the night.


	3. Helping Bernie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they talk about things, Bernie shows Danielle a picture.

***Ten Days Later***

As Bernie began to walk around the house, Danielle returns with the shopping - Bernie's shoulder was still healing but she managed to help Danielle with things. _"Hey look at you."_ Danielle says as she sees Bernie walking around; _"Yeah my leg is feeling better."_ Bernie responded with a smile as she helped Danielle pack the shopping away, _"The stitches can come out today, but you are still on a stress free ban."_ Responded the older blonde as Bernie giggled, then they went into the living room and Bernie laid down on her back as Danielle cut the bandage and removed it carefully. Then she removed the plaster as Bernie looked at her; _"I noticed that you haven't got any pictures of you and your daughter hung up, Danielle."_ The younger blonde says as the older blonde began to cut the stitches, _"I put them away, people used to think that I abused my own daughter because of how she conceived - no matter how many times I tried to tell them, they just spat in my face and called a witch."_ Danielle responded as she cut the last stitch as the younger blonde sat up.

She reached out her hand to grab the older blonde's hand, holding hands tightly Bernie looked at Danielle; _"It's not your fault Danielle, and I believe you."_ Bernie said before reaching over and giving Danielle a cuddle, the older blonde cried as she had never opened up to anyone before. However, after the hug, Danielle cleaned Bernie's leg and kept a plaster on the wound to protect it further. Then she went into the kitchen and cleaned the bowls, as that day still haunts the older blonde and her dreams - soon Danielle returned the living room where she found the younger blonde fast asleep and she smiled warmly. Wrapping Bernie up warm, she kissed her cheek and left her to sleep - a few hours later Bernie woke up and went to the bathroom, once she had finished she went into the bedroom and snuggled upto Danielle for a cuddle. The older blonde smiled and wrapped her arm around he younger blonde, _"This is Serena."_ The younger blonde says as she unlocks her phone and brings up a picture of her and the brunette.

Bernie got the picture of her and Serena - showing it to the older blonde. _"She's beautiful." "Thank you. I miss her so much and I wish she was here to see me."_ The younger blonde replied as she became overwhelmed with emotion and pain, the older blonde quickly comforted the younger blonde and even rubbed her back as she cried in her arms. However, upon the younger blonde stopping crying, Danielle smiled as she came up with a plan to reunite Bernie and Serena - _"Hey I have an idea, why don't go to London and meet Serena then bring her here to see you."_ The younger blonde perked up and agreed, _"You would do that for me?"_ The older blonde nodded, _"Yes I would. I hate to see you unhappy and it's obvious that you love Serena, I don't mind doing that at all. As long as you will be happy with Serena,"_ Bernie picked up on what Danielle was saying, _"You make it sound as though once me and Serena are back together, that I won't you around."_ She says as Danielle looked at her, _"I don't think you would want me around, since your mom will be back and you will forget about me."_ The older blonde replied as Bernie shook her head in disapprovement.

 _"I wouldn't forget about you Danielle, your my friend and you saved my life. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here and living with you while I recover, you mean a lot to me and when me and Serena are reunited - I still want you to be in my life."_ Replied the younger blonde as the older blonde smiled and nodded. Danielle agreed to stay in Bernie's life, after settling Bernie down for the afternoon - the older blonde left her to go to London but not before she paid a visit to the army. Just as she reached the army on her horse Zodiac, her phone pinged with a picture text from Bernie.

 _"Make sure Serena sees this picture, it's her favourite picture of us."_ The text read as the older blonde giggled and replied to the text - _"Will do Bernie, rest up and before you know it I will be back with Serena."_ Three dots appeared on the screen, then a text appeared _"I will, thank you Danielle."_ The reply came as the older blonde smiled warmly. After putting her phone away, she went to the main gate and they recognised her immediately; _Sergeant Wolfe, what are you doing here?"_ The private said as she looked at me, _"I need to see the CO."_ The blonde replied as he saluted her and let her in, after being let in Danielle goes to the CO and informs him that a Captain Dawson has left the base - he believes her straight away and she tells him where Alex is. Wasting no time, he immediately orders four privates to go and return Captain Dawson back to the army and to guard her. Danielle leaves the base and heads to London, once there she goes straight to Holby City and tells Zodiac to hide until she whistles for him. Later she watches as Alex is escorted back to the army, from where she is, Danielle shields her house in a protective shield so no one can see it but her.


	4. Danielle Speaks With Serena/The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danielle goes to speak to Serena, who disbelieves her claims until Danielle shows her something.

After Alex is taken back to the army, Danielle goes to AAU where she meets Serena; _"Serena Campbell?"_ The blonde asks as Serena looked over at her, _"Yes, that's me. May I help you?"_ Serena responded as Danielle took a deep breath, before she responded; _"It's about Bernie, she's alive!"_ The silver surgeon was gobsmacked but immediately disbelieves her. _"Don't mess with my mind, Bernie is dead and nothing can bring her back."_ _"Serena I'm not lying to you. I know where she is and I promised her that I would reunite you both, she misses you so much." "Just stop ok. Bernie is dead, just stop with the lies." "If you don't believe me then believe what you see."_ The blonde felt upset but she didn't show her tears - instead she followed Serena outside the hospital and got up the picture of Serena and Bernie that Bernie sent to her as prove for Serena.

When outside, Danielle turns her phone towards Serena who sighs as she slowly looks at the photo. Serena is shocked when she sees the photo of herself and Bernie - which is her favourite picture of them. Taking Danielle's phone from her hand, she sits down on the bench as Danielle sat next to her; _"Where did you get this?"_ She asks as tears began to form in her brown eyes. _"There is only one place it came from, well from one person. If Bernie wasn't alive, then tell me Serena - how would I have got that photo? How would I know that is your favourite photo of you and Bernie?"_ The blonde asks her as Serena began to believe her. _"Can I see her please?" "Of course you can, Bernie wants to see you too - she misses you." "I miss her too, what's your name?" "Oh yeah sorry, I'm Danielle. I found Bernie in a field nea_ _r to wher_ _e I liv_ _e,_ _I_ _have been looking after her. Bernie does have a dislocated shoulder which I put back into place, but she is healing and wants to see you."_ Serena nodded as she handed Danielle her phone back to her. She went back into Holby and informed Henrik that she is taking time off, he accepts this and grants the time off - after returning to Danielle, she is helped up onto Zodiac and wraps her arms around Danielle's waist as they begin riding. Soon enough, Danielle reached her house and got down, then she placed her hands under Serena's arms as Serena rested her hands on the blonde's shoulders - easing herself down.

Danielle went inside the house as Serena followed, she locks the door and then takes Serena down to the basement - Danielle walks to the bedroom and wakes up Bernie; _"Bernie, I have a surprise for you. It's in the living room."_ Bernie became wide eye as Danielle helped her up and then takes her into the living room, just then the younger blonde sees Serena and runs to her. Serena hugs her back and cries, she pulls away to look at Bernie and peppered her face with kisses - indicating to Bernie that Serena still loves her and they smile at each other before hugging again - Danielle smiles as she goes into the kitchen to make a pot of tea for them all. The older blonde can hear them laughing and talking with each other, it was the first time that Danielle had heard Bernie laugh as she spent time with Serena. Once the pot of tea was done, the older blonde returned to the living room and saw Serena holding Bernie in her arms; _"I still love you Serena, and I made the biggest mistake ever by walking away. I was forced into a relationship with Alex (via Alex's manipulative behaviour) but I couldn't love her not like I love you. I'm sorry Serena."_ The younger blonde said as Serena kissed her forehead, _"I love you too Bernie, why don't we give our relationship another go baby." "I'd love that baby."_ They smiled at each other and kissed as Danielle clears her throat, _"Tea!"_ Bernie and Serena just smiled.

After tea was done, Bernie and Serena went into Bernie's bedroom and they spent time together - as Danielle left them be. Later before she went to bed, she checked on Bernie and Serena she smiled at them - Bernie was snuggled into Serena who was holding Bernie protectively. The older blonde walked over to the bed and pulled the blanket up further, then she left them be and left the door open too. At eleven thirty pm, Danielle was startled awake when she heard a bang followed by _"Fuck!!!"_ She turned the light on and saw Serena, _"You ok?" "Yeah sorry Danielle, I just walked into the wall. I'm just going to the toilet, is that ok?" "Sure, feel free to be at home ok."_ Serena smiled softly, _"Thank you for looking after Bernie, she is really grateful you know." "I know she is, and I couldn't leave her it's not who I am." "Will you be staying in her life?" "She wants me too, but she is happy with you. If I just left now, she would be hurt and I know she is safe with you. Would you want me to stay?"_ The older blonde asks as Serena swallowed, then she left the living room and went into the bathroom - a few minutes later she returned to the living room; _"I would like you stay Danielle, you looked after Bernie and you promised her that you would come to get me and you did. Your Bernie's friend and now I guess your my friend too." "Really?!" "Yes really. Please stay for both of us?" "Ok Serena."_ Serena smiled and then she hugged Danielle, _"Thank you for not giving up on me Danielle." "Your welcome Serena."_ They smiled at each other and then Serena returned to the bedroom to be with her girlfriend. The older blonde settled back down and turned the light off, falling asleep she dreamt about her daughter - who she was missing very much.

Will Danielle find her missing daughter?


	5. Going Home To London

Bernie and Serena decide to go back to London - taking Danielle with them, however Danielle is hesistant and Bernie knows why. Eventually, Bernie convinces her to come back to London with them. On the way home, Bernie and Serena ride on a horse together as Danielle leads the way - upon arriving in London Danielle is attacked by the people who accuse her of hurting her child. Bernie stands upto them and tells them straight that Danielle is innocent of any wrong doing, and the people should be blaming the social services as they took Danielle's daughter from her.

  
However, a woman throws a tomato at Danielle as well as an egg and she is called every name under the sun - Danielle decides to leave London but Serena stops her and they go to Holby City. Danielle goes to Darwin and gets cleaned up, she goes into her paternal aunt's office and just cries - Jac soon comes in and sees her niece upset. They hug each other, as Jac comforts her niece.

  
 _"What's happened?"_ Jac asks her niece, as she wipes her eyes.

  
_"People still hate me and blame me for hurting my own daughter, my own daughter, aunt Jac. I couldn't hurt her I love her, whatever happened to me years I still don't know and it terrifies me so much."_

  
_"Hey, you still have a rite to be here in London. You shouldn't be ashamed of what happened. I told you that we will find your daughter, and the social services will pay for what they did to you and my great niece."_

  
_"But..!"_

  
_"No buts Danielle. I believe you and I still love you, your my niece and nothing will change that ok."_

  
Danielle just nodded, then Jac pulled her back into her arms and comforted her. Later on, the older blonde has fell asleep with her aunt Jac by her side, however Jac soon discovers that Bernie is alive and she goes to see her - they share a cuddle as Jac welcomes Bernie back to Holby. Danielle wakes up and sits on the sofa, as she thinks back to the days before her daughter was taken from her and was privately adopted. _"Mommy that tickles."_ The little girl says as Danielle tickles her.  
 _"Mommy will always baby."_

  
_"I know mommy, but I love you mommy."_

  
_"And I love you too baby."_

  
Mother and daughter share a cuddle, as that happy memory fills Danielle with happiness as she misses her daughter. Ever since that day, Danielle had been trying to find her daughter but had no idea where she was - the blonde always kept a box of her daughter and would look in it from time to time. Danielle would look at the photos of her and her daughter, through her daughter being taken away from her - Danielle didn't have any more kids the social services had ruined her completely and everyone now hated her because of them and their lies.

  
The blonde took out her golden picture locket, opening it and she looked at the picture of her and her daughter - they were both happy and they had a strong bond. Just then, her aunt Jac came back in and saw the locket; _"When did you get that?"_ She asks her niece as she sat besides her.

  
 _"Before we were separated. My daughter got it me for my birthday and I have treasured it."_ The blonde said as she began to cry, _"I miss her aunt Jac. I just want my baby back."_ Jac immediately pulled her niece into her arms. _"I know you do Danielle, we will find her and we will clear your name ok?"_ Jac responded as she comforted her heartbroken niece.


	6. Helping Jac/The Job Offer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first alternate ending which will work into the last chapter.

It was a couple of weeks later, Danielle had been staying with her aunt Jac and her cousin Emma. Danielle and her young cousin Emma were like two peas in a pod - from the moment she was born, Danielle would babysit for her aunt and she would play for hours on end with Emma. However, when Danielle returned home to London, Emma was excited and she ran to her older cousin - Danielle picked her up and cuddled Emma and they went home for tea.

Danielle helped out at Holby as she is a Consultant Cardiology Surgeon, she did operations and tended to patients. However, after a building had been bombed and two brothers had waged war on each other - everyone became caught in the middle and were injured. A couple of injured patients came onto Darwin and aunt and niece worked together on them and kept them alive - Jac comes across a patient who has been injured but he can not breath, calling over her niece - Danielle knows what is wrong; _"Dr Naylor I need a sterilised needle, bandages and lukewarm water please?"_ The blonde asked her aunt.

Jac went to get the stuff, them she returned - Danielle washes her hands as she had another patient's blood on her hands. After washing her hands, she numbs the patient's chest and she cuts into his left side and slips her hand inside his body. She finds the problem, then she moves his lung back into place and the patient breaths normally. Removing her hand, she stitches up the wound and wraps a bandage around his shoulder then his waist to secure the bandage. Afterwards, she washes her hands again and dries them, just as she is about to tend to another patient - Bernie comes to Darwin to get her; _"Danielle, we need your help on AAU."_ The younger blonde said as Jac let Danielle leave to go and help.

 _"Go Dr Wolfe, if I need you I will page you."_ Said Jac as Danielle smiled, then she left to go and help on AAU. When they arrive, AAU is a right mess - the older blonde put a plan together, _"Right erm, we need to separate the patients from the ones that can be saved to the ones that can't be saved. It will be easier to treat the patients."_ The older blonde says as Bernie disagrees with the plan. _"We can't do that Dr Wolfe, I don't like that at all."_

Danielle looked at her, _"I don't like it either Dr Wolfe, but we need to do it. Look, we both have been in the army and we have seen this on the battlefield - no one likes to play death especially people (like us) who have been in the army. It's not fair having to play death, sometimes we have to make hard decisions that we don't agree with. I'm sorry that we have to make these decisions Dr Wolfe."_ Explained Danielle as Bernie just hugged her tightly and Danielle hugged her back.

After a few minutes, they parted and Danielle kept Bernie close to her - she rubbed her shoulder as they walked arm in arm and eventually they separated the patients. _"Dr Campbell what do we have?" "It is a neck wound Dr Wolfe, but as you can see the glass is embedded within his neck." "I see Dr Campbell, right Nurse Jackson I am gonna need some lukewarm water, a cloth, a needle and some thread please?"_ Danielle asks Nurse Jackson who goes to get the supplies.

 _"Right Dr Campbell on the count of three, I need you to pulls that part of the glass out of his neck OK?" "Yep, ready when you are Dr Wolfe!"_ Serena replied as they counted to three and Serena pulled the glass out, Nurse Jackson had come back with the stuff, _"Dr Campbell stitch up the wound after cleaning it."_ Danielle instructed as Serena cleaned the neck wound and then stitched it up, _"Done Dr Wolfe." "Right now just bite the thread off."_ She said as the silver hair surgeon did it and then she helps Danielle.

 _"This part seems to be wedged Dr Wolfe!" "I know Dr Campbell, right."_ The blonde then cut a hole into the patient's throat (for a new breathing hole) _"This has to be done at the right time."_ Serena watched with fascination as the blonde used a pen as a windpipe, _"His windpipe has been punctured so he needs a breathing hole until his windpipe has healed."_ Said the blonde as she proceeded to remove the glass slowly, _"Dr Campbell, slowly massage his neck which will ease the glass from being stuck. Don't go faster unless I tell you too OK?" "OK."_ Together the two surgeons managed to remove the glass without hurting the patient further, then the blonde cleans the wound and then stitches his wound up.

Just then, Bernie called over to Danielle; _"Dr Wolfe I need your help?"_ She said as the older blonde ran over to help Bernie; _"What's wrong Dr Wolfe?" "It's her leg Dr Wolfe, it's infected." "Well if you don't cut her leg off she will die. I've seen that colour, my friend had it and he died from it. But it is up to you, what do you want?"_ She asked the woman who looks at her leg and then back at Dr Wolfe, _"Please Doctor, just do it. I don't want to die."_ Danielle nodded as she looked at Bernie, _"Dr Wolfe can you get me a shield, a sword and some bandages. Oh and put a poker into the fire please Dr Wolfe."_ The older blonde asks the younger blonde agreed.

Danielle uses a pressure point to numb the patient's body, so she can't feel anything and a few minutes later Bernie returns with the stuff; _"Hold her down, she will be in more shock than pain."_ After putting the shield in place, the older blonde raised the sword above her head and then slammed it down - cutting the leg off just below the knee. _"Dr Wolfe the poker please?"_ Bernie grabs the poker and hands it to Danielle, however the blonde then cautaurizes the wound as Bernie gets ready with the bandage.

After cautaurizing the wound, the two blondes wrap the bandage around the cautaurized wound. The woman lives and thanks Danielle for saving her life, the older blonde smiles fondly and leaves to check other patients - she tends to an injured man and he begins to belittle her, and her attempts to find her missing daughter - so she tells him a story (which is her own past experiences).

_"There was once this young woman, who loved everything and everyone. She grew fond of children and longed to have one herself - until one night, something happened that she didn't remember what had actually happened. A couple of weeks later, she discovered that she was pregnant with her first child - she was happy and got everything ready for her baby. She decided to wait until she gave birth to see what she had though she secretly hoped for a girl. Everything went smoothly and she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, she made a promise to her daughter that she would never leave her and she would always be there for her daughter no matter what. Then, two years later her daughter was taken from her by the social services and they had her daughter privately adopted so the young mother never saw her daughter again."_

_"How awful, to lose a child."_

_"The moral of the story, you can't trust no one."_ Danielle responded as he looked at her, 

_"What's that supposed to mean?"_

_"Know your enemy, I learned that the hard way - when my daughter was taken from me and had been privately adopted. It turns out that a former friend of mine had reported me to the social services as apparently, my only child was conceived in a sexual assault. I don't even remember what happened that night but all I knew was that I love my baby and I didn't care how she was conceived because she is my baby. Make sure you know your brother and be careful."_ The blonde replied as she got up and left him to think about what she has said, she went into the ladies and broke down mentally as she thought about her daughter.

Bernie heard the sobs, she came in and just cradles Danielle in her arms - she didn't know why but Bernie felt as though she needed to be with Danielle (the woman who saved her life and looked after her. Eventually, the older blonde calmed down and just stayed in the younger blonde's arms - after washing her face, Bernie informs Danielle that she had heard the story which Danielle told to ones of the brothers; _"You two must have been close! You and your daughter." "We were, we were (as my mother put it before she died) two peas in a pod - my little girl would come to me, she would hug me and draw pictures of us_ ***Bernie smiles warmly*** _she was beautiful. She had lovely blonde hair and Hazel brown eyes like me, I would bath her and read to her - she loved to be tickled especially her tummy and her third toe on the right foot."_

Bernie smiled more, _"I meant it when I said one day you will be reunites with her, she must miss you Danielle." "I don't even know if she will remember me, she was two years old when they took her from me. What if they brainwashed her or abused her - I don't know what happened to her after she was taken from me. The only thing I know is that she was privately adopted and they said her name was changed, I lost my mother to a cancer battle just two months before my daughter was taken from me and my dad never wanted to know me after that. I was alone, until my aunt Jac took me in and she believed me about that night, and has been helping me to find my daughter."_ Replied the older blonde to the younger blonde.

_"I believe you Danielle, besides your not a bad person (like everyone is portraying you) the woman I know is the woman who is standing in front of me and ended up saving my life - that's the woman I believe and trust. Don't let people bring you down Danielle, I know you wouldn't have hurt your daughter - by the sounds of it, she meant a lot to you regardless of how she was conceived. I will be here for you one hundred percent Danielle, OK?" "Thank you Bernie."_

After another hug, they returned back to work and eventually the day is over as patients have been sent home to rest and though some patients died from their injuries they were remembered. Just as they left Holby, Henrik pulled Danielle to one side; _"Dr Danielle Wolfe, a word please?"_ He says as Jac, Bernie and Serena wait for her.

_"Yes Mr Hanssen!"_

_"I have watched you from afar today and I am massively impressed by your skills, which brings me to offering you a full time job here at Holby as the joint clinical lead of Darwin along with Dr Naylor - who I believe is your Paternal aunt!"_

_"Yes she is, erm may I think about your offer please?"_

_"Of course, please take as long as you need and then come and find me when you have made a decision OK?"_

_"Will do Mr Hanssen."_

_"Good, and please have a pleasant evening."_

_"Thank you."_ The blonde replied as he smiled and returned to his office, the blonde smiled to herself as she walked back to meet the others - she decided to wait until she told anyone. After arriving at her aunt Jac's house, she went for a bath and then sat on her bed thinking about the job offer - she got dressed and then went to the attic to get a box. Taking it down, she returned to her bedroom and sat on her bed. Very carefully, she took the lid off and picked up a photo of her and her daughter - they were smiling happily as their faces were mashes up together in a loving manner.

You could tell that mother and daughter had a powerful strong bond between them, the blonde smiled as tears prickled her eyes and she found the letters which she had written to her daughter - detailing everything that had happened and how she would one day find her and they would be happy. However, the blonde pulled out a memory book which she did for her daughter - happy pictures filled up the book as it was Danielle's mother who had taken the pictures.

The very last picture was of Danielle and her daughter on her daughter's second birthday and they were happy, like a normal family until the day that filled both Danielle and her daughter with sadness. The two year old little girl was taken from her mother and Danielle had been prevented from saving her little girl.

The blonde accepted the job offer and texted Henrik; _"Hi Mr Hanssen, I accept the job offer but I have some family issues that I need sorting out. I know I will be OK in the job you have offered, but I do want to make sure that I am settled before I start the job. I hope this is OK with you and I hope that I will still be able to help out when I am Holby."_

Henrik sees the text and understands, so he replies, _"Of course you can still work here when you are at Holby, you are a member of our team now and we want you here. As for your family issues, please take the time you need to sort them out and get yourself settled before starting the job here. I fully understand how you feel and it will go along way to help you get everything in your personal life sorted, feeling settled is a big before you start a professional life. I will make sure that you are paid annual leave as you want to get your personal life sorted, of course no one will be told of your accepting job offer until you officially start here and when you are ready to come to work. Hope everything turns out OK for you Dr Wolfe and I am here if you need a friend ok?"_

Danielle smiles, _"Thank you Mr Hanssen."_ After sending the text, she put the box under bed and then went downstairs for her tea. The blonde had a full time job but she wanted to get her personal life sorted, she wanted her baby back and she was more determined to find her and bring her home for good.


	7. Obsession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, this chapter has taken a while to write. There has been a lot of re-writes with this one but I got there, enjoy.

***Five Months Later***

It had been five months, since Danielle had accepted the job offer at Holby - but she wanted to make sure that she was settled in her personal life before starting her professional life. She became obsessed with finding her missing daughter, who was taken from her and had been privately adopted. The blonde had not been looking after herself, she was tired and grouchy - she was eating properly - which her aunt Jac an uneasy feeling.

  
Since Danielle had not been picking up her mobile, Jac decided to pop round and see her niece - after dropping Emma off at school, Jac drove to her niece's flat but she wasn't there and Jac began to get worried. As she sighed, she decided to go to the only other place her niece could be - Danielle's cottage. Upon arriving there, Jac parked her car and got out - sprinting up the steps and she walked into the cottage. "Danielle?" She said as she looked through the cottage, she walked through the kitchen and it was practically spotless, she went through to the living room and found her niece mumbling to herself.

  
Danielle was surrounded by paperwork and note pads, even pens that had run out of ink - the blonde's laptop was switched on and even the blonde's blonde locks was messy. Jac crouched down to her niece's level and touched her hand - making her jump out of her skin, _"Hi aunt Jac, what's up?"_ She asked as she went back flickering through the paperwork, _"Me, what about you Danielle? No one has seen or heard from you."_ Replied Jac concerned that her niece was running herself into an early grave.

  
 _"I'm fine, I'm just looking for my daughter."_ Danielle stated as she was really tired as she hadn't slept in months. _"Come on, your staying with me and Emma. I don't care what you say, I am not having you robbing yourself of sleep." "Aunt Jac I'm fine, I just want to find my baby and bring her home - that is all I have ever wanted you know that."_  
 _"Yeah I do know that Danielle, but you need to do it properly all you will be in hospital on a drip. I don't want to lose you and neither does Emma, she loves you."_ Danielle knew that she couldn't argue with her aunt - but it didn't stop from her trying though, _"No aunt Jac, I need to find my daughter."_ Jac sighed with frustration, she knew couldn't force her niece to do something she didn't want to do, so she used a different approach; _"Fine then, you leave here so Emma and I moving in here so I can keep an eye on you, and you are doing as your told."_ Said Jac with a stern voice as Danielle pulled a face.

  
Sleep was the last thing on Danielle's mind, she was determined to find her daughter and bring her home for good. A couple of days later, Jac woke up in the middle of the night to movement - Emma was sound asleep and she knew it was Danielle - sighing as she got out of bed and went downstairs to see what she was doing. _"Danielle come on, it's three o'clock in the morning."_ Jac says as she walks over to Danielle, to see what she is doing. _"Just some research into private adoption, aunt Jac."_ Replied the blonde as her aunt sighed, _"Right, I'm taking you to hospital because you are suffering sleep deprivation and I am having no arguments."_ She says as Danielle rolled her eyes.

  
However, Danielle avoids being put to sleep and escapes from the hospital and goes on the run. Only later, Bernie finds her and speaks with her; _"I am not going back Bernie, I need to find my baby and bring her home."_ Says Danielle as Bernie smiles warmly, _"And don't you think that you owe it to your daughter be healthy and safe, eh? Running yourself down like this won't help you or her, I know you want your daughter back and we will help you. Danielle_ ***takes your hand into mine*** _, wouldn't you want to be healthy for her and be happy that you found her through looking after yourself properly."_ Replied Bernie as the older blonde soon burst into tears.

  
 _"What am I doing to myself Bernie? I just want my baby back and to hold her in my arms, I need help."_ Responded the older blonde who was heartbroken, Bernie pulled her into her arms and comforted her, _"Shush it will be ok, I know I can't promise that Danielle but we will find your daughter together and bring her home ok?"_ The younger blonde said before kissing Danielle's cheek.

  
 _"Come and stay with me and Serena, you can rest ok?"_ The older blonde sniffed and nodded, she knew how tired she was and needed rest - they walked out of place together, as Bernie kept Danielle close to her. However, Bernie prevented the staff from taking Danielle away and she took her home. Bernie informed Serena about Danielle, Serena agreed to let Danielle stay with them to recover and when Bernie reached their house, Serena helped to get the older blonde inside their home before the police came with a warrant.

  
Eventually, Bernie made a hot chocolate for the older blonde and took it upto her - just then the knock came at the door and Serena dismisses them stating that Danielle was staying with them and no one was gonna take Danielle from their home. The brunette closed the door and sighed as Bernie came back down; _"Danielle is asleep, I don't know why Serena but I can't leave her not like this."_ Says Bernie as the brunette walks over to her and hugs her.

  
 _"It's probably because she stayed with you and never left your side, Danielle protected you and looked after you before she came to get me. Besides, Danielle will be safe with us and I will let her aunt Jac that she is fine."_ Replied Serena as the blonde nodded and she went back upstairs to sit with Danielle, as Serena had a bath.

  
As the younger blonde watches over Danielle, she held her hand and kissed her forehead softy - the feeling that she needed to be with the older blonde grew stronger and she laid down next to the older blonde and fell asleep. Serena came to check on her, she just smiled warmly, walking over to the left side of the bed - she kissed the younger blonde on her forehead and then put the two chairs together. The brunette fell asleep in the bedroom with them, she too didn't want to leave Danielle alone - but something inside her became suspicious and she wanted to help find Danielle's missing daughter.  



End file.
